Generation Gap

Ed Erfan

Many teenagers feel that their parents do not understand them. They feel as if their parents are "from a different world." This is a normal feeling that arises from the generational gap between teenagers and their adult parents. I believe it is not a culture clash but a generational difference. Yet there are teenagers, like me, all over the world who deal with real culture clashes between them and their parents every day. Teenagers from very rigid backgrounds struggle with the burden of a global awareness while dealing with a culture that is very set in its ways. For teens who were born and/or raised in a Western culture but whose parents were raised in an "old country" culture, the cross culture dilemma is a daily reality. I am a prime example of this.

My cultural contact zone came into play when I had to negotiate two different roles; one at home and one with my friends. Firstly, let me start by telling you that I am half Egyptian and half Black. My mother was born and raised in Egypt. My biological father I have yet to speak to since the age of 7. The contact zone and problems, if you may, used to lie within the cultural differences between my mother and me. I find myself trying to explain to her why I do what I do on a daily basis. My mother is strictly traditional. She is a very religious and hard-working individual. She was raised in Alexandria, Egypt by my grandmother and grandfather who are also as she is. During her childhood, she rarely went out especially at night. She did not have a boyfriend or anything of the sort until her first husband, my biological father. Her life sternly consisted of school and family. I respect her dearly for this. At the same time however, she used to try to implicate these features upon me.

Consequently, I had to be one person in front of her and myself around my friends. Around my friends I would act freely. We would talk about girls, parties, and such. These types of things my mother did not approve of. Therefore, around her I had to be her ‘baby boy’ on account of her strict adherence to her Egyptian culture. After a while however, this became a problem. As I grew up and got into my high school years, I desired more freedom and wanted to be myself all the time, even around her. This presented conflict at first, but as time went on things eased up a bit. She learned to ‘let loose’ and started to understand that there is an extreme difference between our childhoods. I guess as she continued to live here in America, she realized the way of life here differed from hers.

I used to find myself constantly arguing with her about going out. Yes, you read correctly, JUST going out! Not going out late or past a certain a curfew, we used to argue about going out at all! Eventually, it became evident that this was becoming a big problem. I wanted to live the American life, whereas she wanted me to live the Egyptian life. I definitely understood where she was coming from; the problem was she did not understand my perspective. So one day after a huge fight over a silly event, we sat down and talked. I had to negotiate my life to her and this is when I was placed in this sort of cultural contact zone. I explained to her that it is common for kids my age to go out, have a girlfriend, drink, party, etc. Of course at first she was not welcoming to this notion at all, but after testing it out a couple of times, she came to accept it.

Nowadays, things are way better. It could be because of the freedom that comes along with college or that she trusts that I am older and am more capable of making better decisions. All I know is I am quite thankful for whatever it is that caused her to realize the situation because it surely relieved me of much stress. Today I get to be me all the time, including when I am around my mother.

Lifestyle Contact Zone

Samantha Johnson

A contact zone, defined by Mary Louise Pratt is a social space in which cultures meet and clash with each other. The best example of a contact zone that I have come across may seem very diminutive, but I feel as though it may fall into the parameters of the slightest, most minute of the that of a cultural clash-- that of my boyfriend’s way of life versus my way of life. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over two years now, with break-ups here and there, of course. But what seems to be one of our biggest problems is our two drastic ways of life.

Growing up in what you can call a conservative family, I was always raised to try my very hardest through my early academic years. Though I never was one who received money as bribery for straight A’s, I always managed to achieve the honor roll. As I was taught, my long-term goal, which I was expected to fulfill, was to enter into college to continue on with my academics. Don’t get me wrong, my parents are and were very supportive of anything and everything that I wanted to do, but college was something that seemed to be expected of me.

Once I met what would be my future boyfriend, I realized that everything that was ever instilled in my brain was very close to being the polar opposite of what was instilled in his. Ever since his father was small, his family opened a very successful automotive garage. Growing up, his father never stressed the importance of a college degree as did mine. The long-term goal that was expected of him was to one day carry out the business just as his father has for his Grandfather. So, for him school was never a very significant part of his life, as it was and still is in mine. In addition, it seems as though it is very hard to communicate with him about subjects I learn in school. Once again, another lesson I learned while growing up was the desire to learn. My parents always stressed the importance of knowledge, and I came to agree with them when it turned out that I was one of the minority of kids who actually enjoyed school. So nowadays, it seems that my world revolves around writing papers and reading and studying Criminal Justice as it pertains to law; whereas, his world is full of working on cars and reading car magazines. Though this may seem minute, it is our lifestyles that vary so much.

I am now a twenty-year-old sophomore in college, juggling schoolwork and a job. Whereas, he is a twenty-one-year old working full time living at home. Because he works over ten-hour days, and I attend classes roughly three hours a day, the thought of understanding each other's lifestyles seems unimaginable. Of course, I see my lifestyle as being much more difficult than his-- spending hours upon hours of homework a night, and working about twenty hours a week. But all he sees are my occasional naps and fooling around with my roommates. This small contact zone that we encountered continues to be a problem in our relationship. He has come to learn that though my lifestyle may be far different than his, I still have my hardships too. And because I have never worked full-time for more than two months, I have come to reason how tiring and monotonous his workdays are. We have matured to try our very best to explain each other’s lifestyle in hopes that one day they may intertwine. Though many couples may experience this slight contact zone when two people try and have a life together, it seems like the best example I have of trying to translate my way of life to another.

Cultural Contact Zone

Deanna Pizzi

Because most of my extended family is Italian we have always had certain customs and rituals, especially on holidays such as Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving. At times, some people are a little thrown off by this because it is something they are not used to. I remember last year for Thanksgiving I brought my roommate Katie to our family dinner. Ever since I was born, we always attended Thanksgiving dinner at my Aunt’s house, on my dad’s side of the family. And every year all of the same people would be there and to this day we have always sat in specific seats. I don’t think that Katie felt out of place but I could tell that she was somewhat amused by my Italian family. This was probably because of my grand pop. He always talks and talks about stories and lessons and usually after a while my grand mom will tell him to shut-up and leave everyone alone in Italian.

Our Thanksgiving dinner is probably the same as most other American families. We always have turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and many other typical Thanksgiving foods. But always on holidays, after dinner, some of the family gathers in the kitchen to take shots of Grappa. My uncle got this bottle from distant family members that live in Italy. I’m not sure what it is actually considered but all I know is it tastes worse than rubbing alcohol. I usually only take one while my uncle and cousins usually take two or three. In the end I think Katie had a good time but was probably just feeling a little out of her usual cultural contact zone.

Another instance happened this year at Christmas day dinner, which now occurs at our family house down the shore with my mom’s side of the family. Even though this side of the family is Italian too, they are much more different than my dad’s side of the family. While my dad’s side of the family is somewhat conservative and quieter, my mom’s side of the family is much more loud and obnoxious. This year my cousin Mark brought his friend to dinner who is African American. At first he was a little surprised at how loud my family actually is. He was also a little surprised at what kind of food we ate. Every Christmas my Aunts always make a special soup that everyone loves. I don’t eat soup so I am usually the odd member of the family. And they also put out fynoik (which looks somewhat like celery but tastes like licorice) and oil. Just like Katie, he seemed a little out of his usual cultural contact zone but soon fell into place.

There are many instances where someone could feel out of their contact zone such as the examples about. But one cultural contact zone that always occurs to me and many other Italians is very specific. In my family we always had pasta for dinner on Sundays. But at this dinner we eat pasta and gravy while many other families eat pasta and sauce. Technically it is the same thing but Italians always call it gravy, not sauce. When I usually get into this debate with other people they say “well what do you put on your mashed potatoes” and I usually answer with the word gravy (even though I do not eat the gravy that you put on mashed potatoes.) But after my reply the person on the other end believes they have won the fight. And in a way they did. But to me, it is something that my culture, as far as I know, has always done. So every time someone brings up the word sauce when referring to eating pasta I just roll my eyes and the debate begins once again.

Cultural Contact Zones...Chile

KEITH G JUTKOWITZ

My dad is originally from Chile, but he has lived in the United States since he was 15 years old. When I was 16 years old I went to Chile for the first time in my life to visit my family there and to learn Spanish. I stayed in Chile for about six months studying Spanish at a language institute. I stayed in the house of my uncle, aunt, and cousin who was 18 years old at the time and a senior in high school.

The culture in Chile is very different than the culture here in the United States. For example, when I first got there we met up with my uncle, aunt, and cousin to eat, and for me it was the first time that I met them.

In Chile smoking cigarettes is very common and almost everybody smokes. So as soon as I met my aunt she started to smoke and gave my cousin a cigarette and then asked me if I wanted one. In Chile that would be an insult if she did not offer everyone at the table a cigarette. Of course I was in high school at that time and I was used to hearing speeches about how smoking is bad and about not drinking. It was very funny for me because there drinking and smoking is part of their culture and here it is very different. This was just one of many cultural differences that I noticed. In Chile there is also no political correctness, so people say whatever they want, and it is acceptable. Down there people don’t get offended very easily. It’s hard to describe this to Americans because some of the stuff that they say would be an insult or taken the wrong way here in the U.S.

In Chile people move very slowly and things take time. It is very different in the United States--especially on the east coast were everything is very fast and people don’t have a lot of patience. For example when my cousin says “vamo” (let’s go/ get out of here), I know that means in reality we won’t be leaving at that moment but in like 25 or 30 minutes. Also people go out much later there and everything closes later. At 9:30 or 10:00 all of the bars are empty and nothing much is going on. There, people leave at like 12:00 or 1:30 in the morning and get back to their houses at around 5:30 or 6:00 in the morning. Chile is a completely different world compared to the United States.

In Chile they also have a different sense of style than they do here. There it’s acceptable to have long hair and be un-shaven. You could go to a job interview with a beard and long hair, and it is not viewed as not taking care of yourself.

Part of my cultural contact zone was living there and getting used to their customs, but the other part has been coming back to the United Stated and getting used to how things work here. It is hard to readjust to the lifestyle here after coming from a place that is so different. It is also hard to describe how things work down there to people here because it is so different and I don’t want people to get offended or take it the wrong way.