Generation Gap

Ed Erfan

Many teenagers feel that their parents do not understand them. They feel as if their parents are "from a different world." This is a normal feeling that arises from the generational gap between teenagers and their adult parents. I believe it is not a culture clash but a generational difference. Yet there are teenagers, like me, all over the world who deal with real culture clashes between them and their parents every day. Teenagers from very rigid backgrounds struggle with the burden of a global awareness while dealing with a culture that is very set in its ways. For teens who were born and/or raised in a Western culture but whose parents were raised in an "old country" culture, the cross culture dilemma is a daily reality. I am a prime example of this.

My cultural contact zone came into play when I had to negotiate two different roles; one at home and one with my friends. Firstly, let me start by telling you that I am half Egyptian and half Black. My mother was born and raised in Egypt. My biological father I have yet to speak to since the age of 7. The contact zone and problems, if you may, used to lie within the cultural differences between my mother and me. I find myself trying to explain to her why I do what I do on a daily basis. My mother is strictly traditional. She is a very religious and hard-working individual. She was raised in Alexandria, Egypt by my grandmother and grandfather who are also as she is. During her childhood, she rarely went out especially at night. She did not have a boyfriend or anything of the sort until her first husband, my biological father. Her life sternly consisted of school and family. I respect her dearly for this. At the same time however, she used to try to implicate these features upon me.

Consequently, I had to be one person in front of her and myself around my friends. Around my friends I would act freely. We would talk about girls, parties, and such. These types of things my mother did not approve of. Therefore, around her I had to be her ‘baby boy’ on account of her strict adherence to her Egyptian culture. After a while however, this became a problem. As I grew up and got into my high school years, I desired more freedom and wanted to be myself all the time, even around her. This presented conflict at first, but as time went on things eased up a bit. She learned to ‘let loose’ and started to understand that there is an extreme difference between our childhoods. I guess as she continued to live here in America, she realized the way of life here differed from hers.

I used to find myself constantly arguing with her about going out. Yes, you read correctly, JUST going out! Not going out late or past a certain a curfew, we used to argue about going out at all! Eventually, it became evident that this was becoming a big problem. I wanted to live the American life, whereas she wanted me to live the Egyptian life. I definitely understood where she was coming from; the problem was she did not understand my perspective. So one day after a huge fight over a silly event, we sat down and talked. I had to negotiate my life to her and this is when I was placed in this sort of cultural contact zone. I explained to her that it is common for kids my age to go out, have a girlfriend, drink, party, etc. Of course at first she was not welcoming to this notion at all, but after testing it out a couple of times, she came to accept it.

Nowadays, things are way better. It could be because of the freedom that comes along with college or that she trusts that I am older and am more capable of making better decisions. All I know is I am quite thankful for whatever it is that caused her to realize the situation because it surely relieved me of much stress. Today I get to be me all the time, including when I am around my mother.